Why It’s Okay to Say No--and How to Do It
One of the great things about online dating is the number of people you can meet in a short amount of time. Of course, that’s one of the drawbacks to online dating, too, because the vast majority of the people that you interact with online aren’t going to be right for a romantic relationship. That means to be successful at online dating, you are going to have to get good at saying no. Our online dating advice team can help.
Why It’s Good to Say No
For most of us, the goal of online dating is to find that one person with whom we want to spend our lives. Because online dating allows you to meet a lot of different people who you might not otherwise meet, you’ll be able to explore some of the relationship options that maybe you hadn’t considered in the past. Some of those options might open new relationship doors. For instance, maybe you never considered dating someone shorter than you. Or maybe you never considered dating someone long distance. But someone you’ve met online has made that seem like a great idea.
The reverse is true, too. By meeting so many different people, you’ll be able to start narrowing down your search. Maybe you thought you’d be okay dating someone older than you but you’ve found you connect better with people closer to your age. Or maybe you’ve discovered you don’t like dating someone with kids, after all. Whatever those things are, they are helping you narrow down your pool of options to finding that one perfect person.
And that means you have to say no to everyone else. Saying no to the wrong people means you are getting closer to saying yes to the right one.
How to Say No Gracefully
When you first enter into the world of online dating, it might feel tough to say no to people who are eager to learn more about you. This is a vital skill that you’ll need to learn, and it’s something that can benefit you out in “the real world,” too. Here are some tips to help you say no to the people who aren’t right for a relationship.
Be absolutely clear with your no.
You don’t want to leave any doubt in their minds when you tell someone that you are no longer interested in communicating with them or that you aren’t interested romantically. Be absolutely clear with your message. You can still be kind! Let them know that while you enjoyed getting to know them, you are no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with them and don’t want to communicate in the future. Wish them the best in their future relationships.
Stick to your word.
Once you tell someone no, stick with it. They may want to stay friends, and if you are comfortable with that, great. Keep it at a friendship level, though, and don’t get tempted to flirt with them. That can play with their feelings and send mixed messages about what you want.
Remember that you don’t owe them anything.
If you don’t want to talk to them ever again, you don’t have to. You don’t owe your time or energy to anyone you meet online unless that’s what you want to do. If you are ready to walk away, do it; don’t feel guilty about it. It would be worse for both of you to drag it out.
Saying No Is Freeing Them, Too!
Remember, when you say no to someone, you are freeing them up to pursue the relationship that’s right for them, too. Rejecting someone can be hard, but it’s part of the process of online dating. Be kind, be clear, and get ready to find someone who you can’t wait to say yes to!